sometimes, just once in awhile i wish i could share diabetes with someone for a day. not give it to them, just let them try it on for size. then maybe they'd understand just a little. understand that the reason i am sitting in the car while everyone else is cleaning up is not because i am being lazy and getting out of work. it's just because my world is literally spinning around and the only thing i can think of is juice and sleep. understand that i snapped not because i am rude or upset but because being high creates feelings i can't control. diabetes has had the upper hand the last few weeks and i hate it.
i hate it.
i don't want it anymore. i want to be done with highs, the lows, the pricks, the pills, the weight that just won't come off, the sites that itch, the sensors that hurt and bleed, the tubing that is a magnet for doorknobs and the brain power it takes EVERY DAY. without end.
i am just having a crappy time. it won't last, i know. but right here, in this moment its real and hard and really hard.
praying for you, sweet shay. hope you get some rest.
ReplyDeleteIt's always helpful to think about someone else who has things worse off, like cancer. That way you can praise God for the hardships in your life that are bearable :)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -
ReplyDeleteNo, that doesn't actually help. You'd think it would, but it doesn't.
There are actually people with diabetes who have had cancer who will tell you the same. One of them can be found here - http://babscampbell.wordpress.com/its-just-me/