NHBPM November 4- What happens after you press “publish.” Write about your post-blog-writing process. Do you immediately tweet a link? Email it to everyone? Re-read it for spelling errors?

hahahaha! this will be a pretty short post! my post-blog-writing process tends to be something like this.

• hit publish.
• re-read.
• re-read again. 
• sit and think if i said everything that needs said or if i said too much.
• sit some more.
• re-read bits and pieces to someone and get input.
• hit edit a few times while closing my eyes and hoping i don't lose what i just wrote.
• depending on my subject and mood i may tweet a link or post it to facebook. 
• check and see how many page hits i got for a boost of ego and confidence. 

there you have it, more-or-less. nothing special. sometimes i don't even do all of that if it is something i just want to get out and be done with....

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

a letter

i first saw this a few days into to National Health Blog Post Month and thought it would be a fun thing to participate in since it is diabetes awareness month. 


since i am starting late i decided instead of trying to get completely caught up i would start on the prompt from the day i first heard about NGBPM. maybe i can catch up from there..to keep record i am going to date this post as thursday, november 3rd, fyi.




Dear 18 year old me. Write a letter to yourself when you were 18. Be sure to tell yourself what to do more of, what to do less of, and what you have to look forward to in the next few (or several) years.


dear 18 year old me,


let me start off by saying I WISH 30 YEAR OLD ME WOULD WRITE US A LETTER RIGHT ABOUT NOW! now wouldn't that be helpful....!


anyway....


congrats on turning 18! that party will be talked about for years to come! especially the fact that a diabetic had an all-out-hold-nothing-back-eat-till-you-are-sick chocolate party..yep, you (we? i? not sure how this whole time travel things works..) totally rock. 


but i know 18 was the start of the "worrying years". you worried about dad coming home after 2 years of deployment. worried about graduation and life after, worried about what God's plan is for you. worried about work. worried about your friends that seem to be losing their minds. worried about the fact that you really do not want to deal with anything diabetes related. you worried, but you were excited and expectant too. it is a crazy mix of emotions. 


i wish i could tell you the next 5 years get better and that it is all rainbows and happy days.. but darling, it is not. there are mountains to climb, molehills to fret over, battles to fight, fears to face and problems to solve. but, there will be lots of good things too, so don't worry. you will be stretched, pulled, tried, and it is all a beautiful part of God's plan for your (our) life. 


graduation will be fun! don't worry, nothing embarrassing happens when you walk across the stage. enjoy every moment of it! it goes so very fast. hug dad a few more times that day. he is having a hard time thinking that when he left you were a little girl still struggling through math and living for the outdoors and how he missed you growing up, learning to drive, wearing make-up and all that goes with becoming an adult.


after graduation you and your best friend  will pack up way too much in the back of your volvo (you got a station wagon for graduation. pretend to be excited, 'cause em really does try hard to keep it a secret) and head to TN. you will LOVE every second of working at Above Rubies. living with your bff will teach you many things (and yes, she does marry him) and some of the friends you make will last.


while you are there you will get a phone call late one night, it is mom telling you that she is going to have a baby. be careful running up the stairs to tell the girls, otherwise you will twist your ankle. mags will be born a few months after you move back home. and its the best thing in the world. enjoy every second of it. you will pull these memories out for years to come.


i am not going to lie. those few months between moving back home, moving to the new house and mags being born are going to be the hardest ones you face until you are 23. but you survive and you don't get sent to jail for wanting to kill some people. living in the little house with a pregnant mother, a new friend who needs a place to stay, your dad after not for two years, and trying to figure out your life is stressful. trust me, i know! don't worry about your high a1c, stress does that to us..


in fact, don't worry about it for a while. the next few years will be rough in the diabetes area. you will be totally and completely burnt out. some-days you will test maybe 1 or 2 times, forget to bolus and you will tone out anyone who tries to say something. it's ok. really. you don't ever have an a1c higher than 9, even though its bad...its not the end of the world. you may want to consider exercising a little more. i wish i would have now....really though, it is all a learning process and you will be better for it. 


between 18 and 23 a lot happens. life. is. lived! you mess up, you win big, you grow, and you wish you could be 10 again. but kid, you do great! you are the example, you are the leader and so many look up to you because of the fruit they see in your life. really. don't try to understand it, just take it and run with it..and don't forget who is blessing you. 


here are a couple tips i wish i would have known: 

• between then and now there will be several guys that come along. it gets overwhelming but it's kinda fun too. oh..the proposal? yeah, say no and watch what happens when you get here. its pretty funny. there will be some tears cried...but trust me when i say "don't drag it out". say no and let your no be no. got it? yeah me either...
• find the DOC sooner! it was a life changing moment when I first read Kim's blog over at http://www.textingmypancreas.com/. one thing will lead to another and soon you will find yourself in FL   @ FFL with 1000s of other type 1 diabetics. it will be amazing. you will meet friends who GET IT and it will make a difference in how you care for yourself. YOU CAN DO IT! 
• don't hesitate so long about CollegePlus! it is great. every bit of it. 
• your sister will become your best friend.. she will also put in all of your arm sites when you get a cgm. teach her earlier than you think..
• make more time to spend in God's word. at some points it will be the only thing that makes sense in your life. 
• it is hard growing up and still living in your parents house. but it is doable and it is worth it. keep at it. keep smoothing things over. your people skills will be put to good use. 
• last but not least: stop being afraid. just stop it. do the things you want, say what needs said, have that adventure. just do it. 

so, there you have it. there are many many thoughts, events, plans, people and things i left out. those you will have to find out about on your own. 

keep your chin and remember, You Can Do It. 

Me

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

i first saw this a few days into to National Health Blog Post Month and thought it would be a fun thing to participate in since it is diabetes awareness month. 


since i am starting late i decided instead of trying to get completely caught up i would start on the prompt from the day i first heard about NGBPM. maybe i can catch up from there..to keep record i am going to date this post as thursday, november 3rd, fyi.




Dear 18 year old me. Write a letter to yourself when you were 18. Be sure to tell yourself what to do more of, what to do less of, and what you have to look forward to in the next few (or several) years.


dear 18 year old me,


congrats on turning 18! that party will be talked about for years to come! especially the fact that a diabetic had an all-out-hold-nothing-back-eat-till-you-are-sick chocolate party..yep, you (we? i? not sure how this whole time travel things works..) totally rock. 


but i know you are worried. worried about dad coming home after 2 years of deployment. worried about graduation and life after, worried about what God's plan is for you. worried about work. worried about your friends that seem to be losing their minds. worried about love and lack of it .worried about the fact that you really do not want to deal with anything diabetes related. just worried, underneath all those smiles and the excitement. 


i wish i could tell you the next 5 years get better. but darling, they are just filled different kinds of battles. there will be lots of good things too, so don't worry. but you will be stretched, pulled, tried, and it is all a beautiful part of God's plan for your (our) life. 


graduation will be fun! don't worry, nothing embarrassing happens when you walk across the stage. enjoy every moment of it! it goes so very fast. hug dad a few more times that day. he is having a hard time thinking that when he left you were a little girl still struggling through math and living for the outdoors and how he missed you growing up, learning to drive, wearing make-up and all that goes with it. oh and bring a few extra socks and a new pair of shoes on the trip to Disney World...yours don't hold up so well. 


after graduation you and your best friend, Beth, will pack up way too much in the back of your volvo (you got a station wagon for graduation. you love it. it serves you well till you are 23 and it has 300.000+ miles on it.) and head to TN. you will LOVE every second of working at Above Rubies. living with your bff will teach you many things (and yes, she does marry him) and the friends you make will last for a long time...well most anyway. 


while you are there you will get a phone call late one night, it is mom telling you that she is going to have a baby. be careful running up the stairs to tell the girls, otherwise you will twist your ankle. mags will be born a few months after you move back home. and its the best thing in the world. 


i am not going to lie. those few months between moving back home, moving to the new house and mags being born are going to be the hardest ones you face until you are 23. but you survive and you don't get sent to jail for wanting to kill some people. living in the little house with a pregnant mother, a new friend who needs a place to stay, your dad after not for two years, and trying to figure out your life is stressful. trust me, i know! 


it will cause you to start your own business. it is successful, so don't listen to the naysayers. in fact, you will have a waiting list for YEARS! 

today is type 1 diabetes day. a whole day just for me and the 2,999,999 other people living with type 1 diabetes in the nation. today also kicks off diabetes awareness month, and the Big Blue Test leading up to November 14- world diabetes day. on November 14th buildings and monuments from all over the world will glow blue in honor of those living with diabetes. how cool is that!? pretty darn..

this month i will be posting a little bit more about what life is like with diabetes, some interesting facts, and some diabetes truths. if you have a question, just ask! i would love to answer. 

oh and watch the video and SHARE! :D

real.

dearest friends,

i have been overwhelmed and so encouraged by the overwhelming response of my last post. 

the emails, text messages, notes, tweets, phone calls and comments you have sent have been such a blessing! 

i am always surprised that people read what i write but wow! i didn't think you ALL would respond like you did! 

you all are wonderful and each of you have blessed my life more than you know. 

thank you for letting me be real with you, to share struggles and disappointing moments. 

thank you  for being sunflowers in the rain. 

 *hugs and love*

shay

when it rains it pours...it did rain in real life too. lots and lots of wet mud. anyway, back to the story at hand.

so....if this post gets long winded don't say i didn't warn you...cuz it's going to be. for the record, i hate doing big, broad posts like this as it isn't very in depth on any one thing. i may or may not at a later date write about some of these things a bit more. i like deep things, ya know.

the past two-ish months have been a roller coaster of thoughts, emotions, adventures, hard things, bad days, stress, sickness, diabetes confusion, hard family times, sad happenings and just general "blah-ness" 

don't get me wrong, there have been good things, exciting changes, RAIN!, new happenings, and joy in trials. but overall its been a rough couple months. 

some of the low points have been: 

• my dad lost his job. his contract with the army wasn't renewed so he has been looking for work, though unsuccessful thus far...he is trying not to be discouraged but you can tell its wearing on he and mom and that makes things hard all the way around. men are made to provide, to support their family and when that comes to a standstill it is stressful. not to mention the fact that there is a large family, two farms, bills, etc and none of that stops just because you don't have an income. but i must say, God is faithful in all things and He has been providing in unexpected ways. i just wish a job would come sooner rather than later for papa's sake. 
• my car officially is no more and sky's car is on the blink. makes it a bit hard to go too far without a car and as adventurous as hitchhiking sounds i don't know as i am up for that kind of adventure.
  ....the mechanic said it would be about $1800 to fix mine and even then it could go out at anytime..*RIP Veruca..you have been a faithful mode of transportation...even if you were ugly as sin..*
• i made the hard decision to sell my dairy goat herd. after 13 years of raising some wonderful, quality lamancha dairy goats, i am now down to three does, and they are leaving next week. i am not letting myself think about it too much, otherwise it might just 'do me in'. i love my girls but with the drought, hay and feed are just too much. with dad out of work and me with my hours cut (see below) there just wasn't any good ways to justify keeping them. i have worked hard to find the best homes i could for them though. often sacrificing what they are worth, money wise, so that they could go to families that will love them like i do. one of my very dear friends took the handful of favorites that i just could not bear to sell and that helped my heart greatly!
   it's going to be a strange first year without the craziness that is raising goats. no planning, recording and prepping for breeding this fall, no watching bellies grow through the winter, seeing babies kicking inside huge mamma's, no watching my sweet girls peek their heads out and look at the ice and snow this winter, no more laughing at Ginger hopping from dry patch to dry patch because she WILL NOT get her feet muddy, no more middle of the night checks for laboring does, no more stressful moments of pulling kids and great sighs of relief when said kid is born and all is well, no more watching babies take their first steps and butt around for a teat to nurse on, no more "ping ping ping" of steaming milk splashing into a cold pail, and no more friends in the pasture. its going to take some getting used to for sure. but it will be nice to not deal with stress of sick animals and cost, to be able to go away without having to figure out what to do with the goats and who can care for them. it will be a nice break....once i get over the initial shock of not seeing goats grazing in the field for the first time in 13 years..
• singleness is not all its cracked up to be. and its been a harder pill to swallow the past few months. to be honest, i am not content. *gasp!* i know..i know...i know.. i know all the antidotes that are said for such statements but honestly i don't care. it's not like i am going to rush out to the nearest bar and marry the first man i see. not even close! it's simply that i know i am not called to singleness and i am ready for the next chapter of life to start. especially when at one point, it seemed like it was almost in my reach. but it wasn't. i am thankful for such trials of the heart that bring you to depend on the Lord just that much more. He has been teaching me and i can say i have been taking those lessons to heart. i know He is preparing both my future spouse and myself and i am thankful....i just wouldn't mind if he hurried up! 
• diabetes has been a royal pain. ok, so in the past 15 years its hard to remember a time when it wasn't a pain but its been EVEN MORE so the past few weeks. throwing me curves left and right. and if you know me, you know anything having to do with balls is not my forte. A1C is up .1 since last time, which isn't awful but still discouraging.
  not to mention i have had a WEEK of unexplained ketones. when i say unexplained i mean i was spilling ketones when my bg was 89!!!! and for a whole week! i used more ketone strips in that week then i have in the 15 years i have had diabetes! frustrating thing is that all 4 of the doctors i saw or spoke with were just as baffled. i am on day three of not having any and i am happy. i was really feeling crappy! one good thing that came out of that whole thing is that i now have a new endo team and they are AMAZING! (whole separate blog post but both the endo and his wife, who is the diabetes nurse educator, have type 1 diabetes. BOTH! THEY TOTALLY GET IT! i met with the nurse educator ( who is also a d-blogger) yesterday and wanted to cry i was so happy) 
• my body failed me once again with another likely diagnosis. this time one of PCOS  or poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. crap. oh these moral bodies...it just makes me long even more for heaven. i am still sorting out how i feel about this..i have some serious health and lifestyle changes i need to make now so that i can live long and prosper for a long time. but its so dang hard! but this too will be another post when i sort out my feelings on it. diabetes really does effect every area of your life in one way or another. 
• i am in desperate need of a change of pace. an adventure. something! anyone have any ideas? i am totally open to just about anything. to quote my dear Jo from Little Woman "I love my home but I am just so fretful and I can't stand being here!" 
• my work hours are dwindling at a rapid pace. see also: I NEED A FULL TIME JOB! once again, if you have any ideas, job openings, millions of dollars you want to give me..i am open. 
• stress in electronic form. my mom's van transmission when out, her laptop with years of pics, documents, school plans, EVERYTHING (we call it her brain if that tells you anything) crashed and fried the motherboard all in the same week. the van was fixed (read:expensive) and mom's pc is being worked on to get every thing off but wow, that was a stressful few days at our house. 
• was turned down from the hospital job. bummer! big one. 
• school has yet to start. with all that has been going on i have not been devoting time to studying like i want to. i feel SO behind and i hate that. my friends are taking mid-terms already and i have not even taken any classes....
• my computer is not working right.  its making tutoring classes each morning stressful and interesting...hope to get it in as soon as i have funds. 

so i think those are the bigger things that i remember right now. there is much more that i could write. things that i have been thinking, dealing with in my heart and head, scheming, battling and praying about. but my eyes are starting to close and my bed is calling. ( so is some ice cream and while you were sleeping or princess bride. oh and agatha is wanting some cuddle time since i left her at home all day!) 

thank you for understanding, friends. thank you for praying for me and my family and for all the love and support you pour out. i love you all dearly. 

Philippians 4:13-I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. 

peace, love and diabetes!

shay

nights like this

sometimes i am scared to start typing. 

because i know that once i start, a torrent of words, emotions, and thoughts will come.

tonight is one of those nights.

there is so much going on in my head, heart, home, life and family right now that i don't know

where to start. 

or if i am even willing to let my thoughts become words on a page.

i think for tonight i will say life is beautifully unpredictable in ways i never predicted

and i am clinging to the Rock that is steadfast and sturdy.